E-Zine
Seek Meaning First and Let The Other Things Follow
Have you ever noticed how life has a habit of distracting you from what is important? I learned about this principle years ago when I read Stephen Covey’s book, “First Things First.” Even though I read it originally to help me with my time management, there were other more profound lessons in it. For example, he showed that if you put the really large and important things into your calendar first, you can fit quite a lot of the smaller things around them.
So what are the larger things exactly? Well, they are things like relationships, health, spirituality and the things that you have a passion for. When a person really commits to living those things, life feels more fulfilling and more satisfying. And what are the smaller things? They have a lot to do with running around, fulfilling obligations and day-to-day activities. When we make those things too important, our lives can often feel like the proverbial “rat race”.
The moms I coach often become overly committed to the stuff, the little things of their lives because they see it all as their responsibility. If it doesn’t all get done, they feel guilty. Also, I watch a lot of mothers take their responsibility so seriously by giving the little things so much importance, that they are driven to do it all perfectly and then feel exhausted and resentful trying to get it all done.
Many self-improvement authors and strategists see the answer to this dilemma as finding balance. But I am not sure balance works here because the really important things in our lives have more weight than the little things. Instead of balance, I suggest seeking meaning. Here’s how:
- Pick something that is really important to you or that you have a passion for. It could be around your relationships, your health – it could even be being a great parent.
- Find a day and and block off time to pursue that passion. Will you need a babysitter? Then book it now.
- When that day and time arrive, keep the commitment to yourself. Will you sit and read a parenting book or go to a parenting class? Then do it. Is it a chance to sit with your best friend over lunch? Then do it. Meditate. Pray. Sit by the river and watch the clouds go by. Whatever it is, just do it.
- Notice how good you feel.
- Rinse and repeat!
By putting more meaning into your life, you will feel so good and energized, you’ll be able to fit those pesky little things in and around it and you’ll stop letting them distract you and take you away from what matters most.
By Lisa Garber
