Everyone, including Oprah preaches that we should live our own dreams. But how do you do that when you have no time for yourself because you’re taking care of everyone else?
Submitted by: Diana C.
Answered by: Lisa
Dear Diana;
I can sense your frustration. There are so many demands on mothers; it seems impossible to focus on you. Worse, it seems downright selfish. You are not alone in feeling this way. Here are a few tips that I hope you will find helpful.
- Try bringing the dream down to earth. When coaches, personal growth experts, and motivational speakers use the word dream, it can be very intimidating. The idea of a dream seems so big, so over the top and so unrealistic. In your question, you said you don’t have time for yourself. Would having some more time for yourself be a dream? It is for most moms. How about carving out 10 minutes for you where you write in a journal or go for a walk by yourself. Dreams don’t have to be gigantic for them to be meaningful and fulfilling.
- Rethink your idea of selfish. What does that really mean? If you look selfish up in a dictionary, it talks about caring “only” for oneself. That little word “only” is key. It doesn’t say thinking about yourself once in a while. You will never be selfish by finding time to persue something that brings you joy once in a while. One of our MOF clients reconnected with a dream she had for writing. So, she started taking a writing class once a week. Was she being selfish? Was she thinking and caring only about herself? It will be so helpful for you to challenge your own concept of what selfish really means.
- Gather a support group for your dream. You can’t beat having support for yourself when it comes to stepping out of your usual day-to-day world. Try finding some other moms who share your dream. Take a look at our forums on this site for other moms who are trying to live a dream. One of our MOF clients gathered some friends together to train for a beginners triathlon. They helped each other get over their guilt that cropped up every so often. They helped each other stay focused. But she also got her family on her side. She created a vision board of images that were inspiring. She got her kids involved with her training. And on race day, who were her biggest supporters? You got it, Dad and kids.
It is important to live your own dreams, not the dreams of someone else’s life. Find something, a little something that is just for you and do it. It will bring you more energy than you can imagine, and benefit your family by your feelings of joy and satisfaction.
